Your Breast Cancer Experience Is Valid, No Matter What You’ve Faced
June 14, 2024
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Everyone’s breast cancer experience is different, but one thing links them: Your experiences during and after treatment are valid, no matter what your circumstances.
The feelings, fears, and challenges of breast cancer are at once universal and totally unique.
Though every person’s experience may be different, there’s a thread that ties them all together: Whatever you go through, it’s valid.
When asked how they’d finish the sentence, “Your breast cancer experience is valid even if ____,” Bezzy members and contributors touched by cancer shared what they wished they’d heard — and what they want others to hear.
Breast cancer can look like a million different things on the surface, but your experience is personal — and it matters.
Your cancer experience is valid even if …
It’s different than everyone else’s experience.
— BezzyBC member Jlk
Regardless of what type of breast cancer, treatment, or recovery you have, your inner experience is uniquely your own. There’s no right way to experience cancer. There’s only your way, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it.
I had absolutely no idea I had cancer.
— Susan, 45 years old
Even if you didn’t have traditional, obvious, or typical symptoms, your cancer diagnosis matters. You might have felt like you were at the top of your game or too young even to get cancer.
I was running 30 miles a week and weight training for a fitness competition at the time of my screening … I had absolutely no idea I was sick.
— Ashley
Doctors or acquaintances may try to be reassuring, but it doesn’t always feel that way.
You are going to be fine (how do they even know that?!).
— BezzyBC member hugs23
“Fine” means something different to everyone.
Your cancer experience is valid even if …
It was minimal, and you’re now NED [no evidence of disease].
— BezzyBC member Donna468
Just because you received a stage 0 diagnosis, had a quick, simple surgery, or didn’t have to undergo chemo, getting breast cancer is still scary.
It was noninvasive and stage 0.
— BezzyBC member Meeshy
No matter what your treatment needs, cancer is still physically and emotionally difficult.
Even if I didn’t need chemo and radiation and had no issues with either healing or multiple surgeries.
— BezzyBC member NancyD
Many Bezzy members shared this sentiment.
Even if I didn’t need chemo or radiation.
— Christina99
Cancer may make you feel that you’re facing your death, something many people can only imagine.
Even if your cancer isn’t advanced, it doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel afraid, sad, angry, short-changed, or any other emotion you may be feeling.
I only needed a lumpectomy, and I was NED. It was a very distressing time in my life, but the people around me didn’t seem to think so. Because it was such an easy treatment, they expected me to return completely to normal afterward. I wasn’t.
— Cathi, 77 years old, received her diagnosis at 55 years old
For many, there isn’t a return to the person you were before you had cancer. There’s a ‘new normal’ that sets in afterward. The experience is often life changing.
No matter how “easy” it looks from the outside, it’s never really easy.
Just because I didn’t go through your hell, doesn’t mean it wasn’t my hell.
— Anonymous
Your cancer experience is valid even if…
You weren’t the only one in the family.
— BezzyBC member cmj maria
Cancer doesn’t discriminate. Sometimes, it touches a family once. Other times, many members of the same family experience cancer. This doesn’t mean one person’s diagnosis is more valid than another’s.
Even if you have a genetic disposition or have been through the cancer process with another family member, it still has a profound effect on your life each time it happens.
Your cancer experience is valid even if …
My breast cancer experience is valid even if I don’t look like what I’m going through.
— BezzyBC member Crglaspie1
What is cancer supposed to look like, anyway? Not everyone loses their hair or appears sick on the outside.
Even if I didn’t struggle with my treatments and looked “normal.” Mentally, it was and is a struggle.
— BezzyBC member AnnieP
Looking fine doesn’t mean you are fine.
My breast cancer experience is valid even though I don’t look sick. People say, ‘Well, you look great and back to normal.’ That really gets to me.
— BezzyBC member cmj maria
It’s OK to want to look well and put your best foot forward when you have cancer — or not. Either way, it’s your choice. How you feel doesn’t have to match how you look.
I laid low during my treatments. When I left my house, I made sure I looked my best or that I didn’t go. People thought this meant I was fine, but they just didn’t see me at my worst.
— Amy, 57 years old
Your cancer experience is valid even if …
You’re done with treatments and navigating the road ahead.
— BezzyBC member Dogmama
Just because you’re in remission or NED doesn’t mean you’re “done” with cancer.
I’m still fighting side effects of all my treatments.
— BezzyBC member Grandmataz
Whether you’re dealing with side effects or coping with the emotional aftermath, cancer’s toll can linger.
It can also leave behind medical concerns to grapple with.
Managing my cancer pain that the chemo and radiation caused has been more difficult than treating the cancer itself.
— Nancy, 69 years old
Takeaway
Breast cancer can look like a million different things on the surface, but your experience is personal — and it matters.
One Bezzy BC member said it best:
Your BC experience is valid because you are!
— BezzyBC member Jlk
Fact checked on June 14, 2024
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