Updated May 23, 2024
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Illustration by Brittany England
My implants settled into place, and now I have more lingerie than I did before breast cancer.
This article contains graphic, intimate images of a postsurgery body. The photos have been generously shared by a breast cancer survivor so that others can benefit from uncensored visual information that may help them make important surgical decisions for themselves.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of April 2018. At the beginning of my journey, I connected with a friend who was a cancer survivor, and she became my mentor.
Talking with someone who’d already gone through breast reconstruction was a huge benefit.
My mentor helped me come up with a list of questions I wouldn’t have known to ask. For example, what does the tissue expander look like? How long will my recovery be? How long do I need to wear the surgical bra?
In June 2018, I had a double mastectomy with tissue expanders placed.
Tissue expanders are like a torture device for the first 4 weeks because the area tightens up. You can’t lift anything over 10 pounds, so you lose strength in your shoulders. You’re restricted from lifting your hands over your head, which makes washing your hair hard.
Once I could return to the gym and loosen things up again, the tissue expanders weren’t so bad.
I had expanders for 3 months with five fills over 5 weeks, starting with the second week after my mastectomy. It was strange to watch my chest grow in front of my eyes.
Getting my expanders filled didn’t hurt at all, because they removed all the nerves during the mastectomy. After five fills, my incision started to pull a little, so we let the expanders rest for a couple of weeks.
My husband and I took a weekend trip to visit some wineries while I still had expanders, so it’s possible to travel after the first couple of weeks. They were tough as nails, you could knock on them like wood.
Before the exchange surgery, my surgeon let me hold the implants and get a feel for their weight. We talked about the size and profile of implants, and he said 450 cc implants were probably good for my height.
I told him I wanted to get as close to my original size as possible — I was a DD, but my breasts were affected by gravity and breastfeeding before that.
We discussed smooth versus textured implants, and he recommended smooth. I asked if teardrop-shaped implants look more natural than round implants, and he said round is better because the implants rotate.
Implants also come in different degrees of firmness. My implants are fairly firm and made of cohesive gel, which has a gummy bear consistency. My husband thinks they’re pretty cool.
During an exchange surgery, the surgeon places implants into the pockets created by the expanders. I wasn’t awake during the surgery, but the surgeon sat me up to examine the size of different implants and assess if he should make them higher profile or lower profile.
I can just imagine a surgical tech saying, “Not those, she’ll look like Dolly Parton!”
He also grafted fat from my torso where the bra band sits, and I had bruises there. He placed the fat above the implants near my collarbones. It helped fill out that area and disguise the pull of the implant.
The next day, I did look like Dolly Parton. But it takes 4 to 6 months for implants to settle into their quasi-permanent state. I’ve had them for 6 years, and they’re beautiful.
After the implants were placed, I had occupational therapy with a physical therapist who works specifically with people who’ve had breast cancer. She sent me home with a bunch of exercises to do, and it helped get rid of the “iron bra” feeling.
It took 9 months for me to become accustomed to the appearance of implants and the initial tightness they caused. It’s different for everyone, and we all respond differently to the way they look and feel.
Getting everything stretched out really helps. Now I can row and swim without thinking about the implants.
I lost my nipples because I had cancer behind both of them. I found a well-known tattoo artist named Kerry Soraci, who does 3D nipple tattooing. She owns a parlor called Imago Medical Pigmentation, and you can see before and after images on her Instagram.
3D nipple tattoos are shaded in such a way that it looks like there’s a protrusion. We talked about shading and size before she started.
My husband was behind a curtain, and I showed him after she finished the first one. His jaw dropped. It made a huge difference.
Later I had a small surgery to remove what’s called a dogear from the reconstruction scar. During the procedure, the nurse leaned over and said, “Those nipples aren’t real?”
I also had Kerry tattoo a blue and green vine underneath the right implant and toward my right shoulder. The last picture shows my reconstruction 2 years after surgery, and it’s beautiful.
I am officially finished with breast cancer treatment, and I have more lingerie now than I had before breast cancer.
I recommend talking with someone who can share their breast reconstruction experience. Having someone to walk you through it and help you ask the right questions is really helpful.
You can chat with someone through the American Cancer Society’s Reach to Recovery program. You can also get matched with a breast cancer survivor mentor through the After Breast Cancer Diagnosis organization.
And, of course, you can connect with other women who have undergone breast reconstruction in the Bezzy BC community forums and direct messages.
Bezzy BC and Young Survival Coalition are partnering to create What It Looks Like, a series showcasing photographs of different breast reconstruction choices on bodies of all shapes, sizes, and colors.
We’re spotlighting the breast reconstruction decisions of people who have had breast cancer so that other people facing mastectomy surgery can see and hear about many different real-life outcomes.
If you’d like to share your reconstruction (or flat closure) images and story, we’d love to hear from you. Just have your photos ready and fill out this submission form.
Images and stories will be anonymously published on BezzyBC.com.
Originally written March 27, 2024
Medically reviewed on May 23, 2024
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